The Jupiter Review
Bulldoze
Julianna May
Bulldoze the church where I grew up.
The sanctuary where
parents told me
“I’m so glad you’re friends with my son
and daughter. Now
they’ll be better children.”
​
Bulldoze the classroom where
the boy and I sat inattentively,
under the eerie ticking
of the room’s ghost clock,
pressing fingertips against metal
hexagons in the gray-blue chair
till our white-pink flesh
was raised in memory
and I wished he would kiss me.
​
Bulldoze the bathroom I ran to
to escape boys’ itching fingers
at my sides;
where I went to cry;
where others went to make out.
​
Bulldoze my father’s office,
he scoured the Bible
and internet for dirty whores
to ridicule at the pulpit,
and masturbate to in private.
​
Bulldoze the fellowship hall
where only judgements, hatred,
and uniformed laughter fellowshipped.
Where my hands got slapped
for knowing all the answers
and correcting an adult.
Where loving thy neighbor
were words chewed, spat,
undigested as cow cud.
​
Bulldoze the footprints of the child molester,
welcomed in those hallowed halls,
a Lot to his daughters,
accepted by the pastor
while his victim, deemed as
deceiving as Jacob, was cast aside.
​
Tear up the carpet.
Rip up the floorboards
like Adam’s ribs.
Disembowel the mildewed
basement cemetery.
​
Let all the ghosts run free
•
Julianna May (she/her) is a 12th grade English teacher, dog mom, and part-time softball coach. She has been previously published in Crepe & Penn, Nightingale and Sparrow, and Emerge Literary Journal. You can find her on twitter: @JuliannaMay1216